Posts Tagged ‘clean plate’

Clean Plate

I’ve been noticing a pattern, and I’m tired of it.  Seems I’ve been complaining a bit about time, or the lack thereof, to do more of the things I want to do. While venting has a place, I am more of a “crap or get off the pot” (pardon my french) type of person.

I think venting is a good way to release frustration, but for me, when I notice a pattern of negativity, it occurs to me that it’s not just a pressure valve release, but a situation that needs closer examination and in all likelihood, a change. In this case, it’s been a lack of time.

It had really started to stack up on me that during the school year, I am not home a single day out of the week.  Not a single day. Monday was the only day I was home during the day, but there are kids’ activities in the evening, so that was another day that was shot. Weekends were usually pretty busy, too, with preparation for the week and being out on Sunday.

How does one create more time? The easy answer is you can’t. Another thing to think about is consolidation- can I combine things to be more efficient, and therefor feel like I have more time?  Nope.  No can do.

My solution was to clean my plate. I recognize that while this works for me, not everyone is in a position where they can take a clean swipe- but I’ll best most people wish they could from time to time!

In the last week, I have removed myself from outside obligations.  The first thing to go was a volunteer position that took up most of my Wednesday.  Yesterday I quit my very part-time job. One co-worker seemed surprised, as in, “But no one else can do what you are doing!” (that means printed information and a website, more or less, because the other stuff I am pretty sure anyone else can handle :lol:)

As of this minute, I haven’t officially changed my stance.  But, I’ll tell ya, I am waffling.  The one thing in particular, my two youngest are really quite sad about.  And, given that it’s always good brain food for me; is not really stressful; and is on some level actually enjoyable, I’ll probably change my mind back.

The other was more of a relief, honestly. The one environment that destroyed me several years ago has really left its mark (read here for more info).  I am no longer interested in or willing to fight for anything.  It simply is not worth it. I have the luxury of being in a position to ditch things when the going gets rough. And so I have.

Hanging on to something that causes a lot of frustration is just not worth it to me anymore.  I have no faith that perseverance will win in the end, or that things will get better. So I apply the “law of two feet” (although my criteria is a littl different in that I actually am contributing).  I guess, in hindsight, that dysfunctional organization (that I grew up in) taught me that much.

A totally clean plate? Nah, not quite.  Cleaner.  And hopefully that will = better in the long run.  I may be back, though, come this winter, saying my plate is totally clean.  😀

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