Archive for July, 2013

Well. Here we are, I suppose.

If you know anything about me, you no doubt know that 3 of my 4 kids are girls. The oldest daughter is 14.5, but seriously looks at least 18.


Hunny’s plan was to send them all to the nunnery, despite us being non-Catholic. He was adamant about them not dating, or really even having boys as friends.  dad1

I, on the other hand, have always been on my daughter’s side. His position is that all boys just want to get in pants and that is their only driving force. I do believe that there are good kids out there- at least when we were kids there were. This is where my opinion originates.

Don’t prove me wrong, boys.

He is very sure all boys are the same and really the end game is having sex. I’d like to think there are still good guys out there who appreciate my daughter(s) for more than their body parts and what can be done with them.

I never thought I would have to sit down and come up with a list of rules, but here you go.

Before I start, there are a few things you ought to know. And by “you,” I mean any person of the male gender that shows any kind of interest in any of my daughters. 😀

  • This list isn’t written in stone. It may well be added to, but this here is a starting point.
  • Hunny and I are not so old that we don’t remember being teens. In fact, if you’ve ever had occasion to talk to us, you’d realize that Hunny is the kind of guy my parents would have never let me date, and some freaked out person these days would have wanted him locked up given his, um, ability to help local farmers with birds via his guns.
  • Respect is earned. No, really, it is. We don’t know you up from down. Regardless of religious leanings or not, you don’t start out with a free pass. {See earlier point about remembering what it was like being teens- even religious ones………} Even if we knew you in diapers, hormones are a game changer, and you basically have to start over in your new body.
  • {And this is probably the most important one- so PAY ATTENTION!}

My daughter is a jewel. She is THE MOST PRECIOUS thing in our worlds. There is NOTHING- and I do mean nothing- we won’t do to defend her and preserve her. {ok, we won’t send them to the nunnery- but you get my point. }

I will elaborate on that point as we go along, because I am not messing around. We are fiercely protective- she is our jewel.

Buckle your seat belts and keep your groans to yourself. If you want to see her or get to know her or date her, these things are absolutely not up for discussion.

  1. DON’T PLAY GAMES. You’ll notice I capitalized that one. It’s important. I despise games. You will not play them with her; nor with us, her parents. If you think it could be remotely viewed in a negative light; don’t do it. If you think something could remotely come across as being snarky, assume that’s what I’m thinking. Don’t go thinking you’re all cutesy and will get a pass. You won’t.
  2. If she’s on Facebook and you want to be friends with her, you will also be friends with me. 😀 You will not block me; you will not prevent me from seeing what you’re saying to her. If you don’t like that, you might as well stop now. It’s not a game and it’s not respectful to me, her mother. You are not entitled to privacy; you haven’t earned it and she is not old enough for carte blanche anything. She’s my daughter; my jewel. {If you have a sister, I’ll protect her just as fiercely- she’s also a jewel, and shall be treated as such.}
  3. Don’t disrespect me. If you don’t respect me, I have no confidence in your ability to respect her. I also watch to see how you treat your mother. 😀
  4. Be a gentleman. If you are going to say you are a gentleman, I expect you to act like one- around her, around me, around her father, around her family.
  5. I don’t care how smitten you are with her right now- common sense applies. I expect you to use it. This means being responsible. This includes, but is not limited to:
    • Not placing either of you in dangerous situations, even to show off for her. 🙂
    • Finding out what her curfew is by asking her parents. If she tells you it’s ok that she stays or is a little late; she is mistaken. It matters, and will reflect poorly on both of you. This point, interestingly, goes a long way towards earning respect. Curfew means up at the house with notice to parents IN PERSON that arrival home has happened{don’t think you are going to get away sending a sibling- they rarely do as asked and it doesn’t count. I want to see YOU}. It doesn’t mean hanging around somewhere on the property, hoping someone noticed you’ve gotten home. Honestly, I don’t care if y’all hang around yakking, so long as it’s not real late and so long as we know she’s back home. {This is where the common sense comes in.}  dad2

We care about you, too, believe it or not. We know you want to impress our daughter; we want you to be safe. Showing you can be safe, responsible, and have some common sense with regard to your personal welfare shows us an inkling of what we expect you’ll do for our daughter.

And know this: I, her mother, am on your side. Really. 😀 I’m the one doing battle with her father to not run you off on sight. I’m the one fighting for both of you to get some time together. If you’re smart, you’ll keep that in mind and not piss me off.

I’m pretty forgiving, as a rule. I know kids {and shoot- *people*} do silly/stupid things. I was there once, too. There are probably only a handful of adults alive today that aren’t surprised that they are, in fact, still alive.

Hunny and I aren’t in that category. Both of us are able to look back and fully realize that it’s really by the grace of God that we’re still here.

We hope- we expect- you to be better than we were. I absolutely don’t buy into the “kids will be kids” baloney. Have fun, but be safe.

But you won’t get to have fun if you don’t follow the rules. 🙂

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