Really. Don’t listen to me. I don’t know anything, and certainly not that. ‘Cause, you know, I’ve never done actual research on that or anything. My opinion certainly isn’t based on fact or anything. Nope, I don’t know anything at all.
My girls came home yesterday, after having been gone since Monday. The whole thing (night after night after night) was unplanned. Calls were made each day to ask for an extension, and to ask permission to go places.
This stemmed from incidents when the oldest was a baby and a quick trip literally around the corner resulted in driving around town- without a car seat- and us sitting and waiting for the longest time while we panicked, wondering where the heck they were with our week old baby. Our thoughts at the time had been “Surely they would not do something like that.” Wrong! We learned all kinds of things at that time (in a nutshell, they were going to do what they wanted, not as we, the actual parents, said) which resulted in no babysitting and only sporadic, short-lived overnight stays for the last 15 years.
And while I appreciate the learned response of “no way we are putting you in a car without their permission so you had better call and ask” (which, I have to say, is a first because we KNOW they have snuck them off places before, even though I still have 2 in car seats and then didn’t have any) I expected I’d probably have to do some kind of damage control in some way.
I just didn’t expect it to be one the same things that we’d already gone round and round over. *sigh*
As silly as it may seem, I have spent years- literally, years- battling all kinds of old wives tales. Everything from birthing, to breastfeeding, to child raising, to homeschooling laws, and now back to hummingbirds, has been subjected to these old wives tales which are then given to my children as fact.
My factual reasearch (including medical journals by you know, *doctors* and people with degrees) has always been snarled at. Literally. And their “research” (thoughts that were based on hearsay from older family members or an opinion based on something they heard once upon a time) has always trumped mine (in their opinions), because, after all, what did I know?
If there is one thing- a single thing- to know about me, it is this: I
am the queen of research will research something obsessively (part of my OCD rearing its head here) and into the ground before I give an educated opinion. If I research and can’t find information, I’ll tell you that. “I haven’t found enough information to form an opinion.”
If I find conflicting information in equal ratios, I’ll tell you that. “Some research says…… while other information says….. As far as I can tell, the jury is still out.”
If I have personal experience with something, I may share that, too. “While research says….. my personal experience was…….” or “Rearch/experts say/s……. and my experience was…… For what it’s worth.”
Another thing to know about me is that I don’t give much stock into “experts.” I’ve known people who have claimed to be “experts” who have no actual first hand knowledge of something. This does not apply to certain people like Dr. Thomas Hale ; Dr. Jay Gordon, or Dr. Jack Newman, who have years and years of practice, observation, and critical documented scientific studies under their collective belts.
Nope, I think there are a great many people who proclaim expert status who have no actual real experience with their topic of “expertise” and/or rely on stuff they find solely in books to support their claims.
I believe experience is the best teacher. I believe there are things you can’t know-even about yourself- unless or until you have experienced them yourself. Experience really IS the best teacher, 9 out of 10 times. (I always leave room for the exception to the rule, too )
It goes without saying that if you tell me (or in this case, my children) and promote it as fact, you had better have some personal experience with it AND have your ducks in a row.
Last night, I sent my oldest daughter
facts information regarding comments that were said to them recently. Even though I had several sites saved, I still did another search, because sometimes new information comes along and debunks the old info. The other comment I posted on a large forum and asked for comments and opinions. Not surprisingly, the ones I received within minutes echoed my own, even though the one comment made to my kids was a “this is the best way to do it and we always did it that way” kind of thing.
And still my dd was miffed. I mean, really? She says “I wasn’t saying they were right, just telling you what they said.” And then she was bent I sent her information? What is the point of telling me something that was said unless you want an opinon or information regarding the accuracy of the statement? Especially when it’s told to you AS FACT and qualified with a comment of “According to my research….”
My response, of course, was to ask, “What specifically was her research?” This is coupled with thinking “her definition of “scratch” is to scratch something processed and pre-made and say she made it from “scratch.” Now, it’s a big joke because the kids called her on it, but how long was she passing stuff off as the traditional “made from scratch” before they realized the deception? (and, anything made in her house is “homemade,” too)
If you tell me someone told you something, I am either going to confirm or deny it, based on the evidence I can find. And I’m going to use one of the statements above.
Maybe I should have stuck with my old standby: “If I have wanted their (your) opinion/s, I would have asked for it.” Meh.
Critical thinking. I’m a big fan. If everyone had- and USED- good critical thinking skills, I think as a species we’d be a lot better off for it.
Apparently, I don’t know anything. So, don’t take my word for it. Do your own **** research and come to your own conclusions!