Last week I promised answers, so here we go.
1) My arms are double jointed. Yep. I used to be able to do neat stuff with them, like twist them all the way around. Now I’m just old. I can still get my legs over my shoulders, though. As far as I can tell, none of my kids have gotten this trait.
True. I even used to be able to turn my wrist all the way around. It was one of the main reasons I couldn’t get into ballet, for example, all because I couldn’t physically get my arms straight. Ok, that’s a lie. I didn’t do ballet because it was too boring and that alone couldn’t be offset by the costumes. So now you know.
2) My favorite color is red. Yep. Not only is it the color of my chicken condos, but my closet is loaded with it. Being blonde and blue-eyed makes red a great color for me, and when I’m tan during the summer, it’s the best color on me. I tend to naturally gravitate to wearing colors that look good on me, and while I worried that my purple toe nail polish would clash, it didn’t bother me. I’m pretty sure my new blue toes will look better with my all my red clothes, though.
Firstly, can I just ask what y’all have against blonds in red? Really? What about these ladies?
Exhibit A: Christie Brinkley
Exhibit B: Cameron Diaz
Exhibit C: Charlize Theron
Exhibit D: Reese Witherspoon
The defense rests.
Regardless, y’all got me on this one. The color I actually like the best is purple. The color I look best in is blue, of any shade.
Firstly, this proves I’m a rotten liar, even on paper. And secondly, it just confirms my inhibition of wearing red. There are only a few shades of red that I look ok in, but that’s not the reason why I don’t like it. It’s not my most despised color because that’s orange, but it comes close.
Although, my current blue toe nails would look better with red than my usual purple, and I do look better in red when I’m tan. If I’ve gotten brave enough to wear it with my eyes open.
3) I am allergic to most sunscreens. Yep. The only kind that doesn’t break me out and make my ears look like Dumbo is Bullfrog. It’s even dangerous to me to put sunscreen on my kids, because if I get any on me, I pay for it.
True. I’m not sure if I’ve always been allergic of if sunscreens have evolved and added stuff that I’m allergic to or not. The spray is a good idea, but still requires it to be rubbed in, which the kids can’t do on their own backs. I suppose I could wear rubber gloves, but the easiest solution is for them to goop each other.
The dumbo ear episode actually happened, at least 10 years ago. I put normal sunscreen on my ears and they tripled in size and were more painful than childbirth. I kid you not. After 2 days of agony, I relented and went to the doctor who gave me a shot of some steroid (I’m thinking prednisone, but not sure) which took another day to kick in.
Over the years, I’ve experimented with sunscreens, particularly the ones labeled ‘hypoallergenic’ and ‘for sensitive skin.’ I’m here to tell you that they totally lie. Don’t do it.
4) I’ve had babies under water. Yep. I have. I would have gone for home births for all 4, had that been an option. Ya win some; ya lose some. But at least I got to do that.
True. When we first moved here and I was pregnant, we took a tour of the brand-new, ‘state-of-the-art’ hospital and labor and delivery wing. They were thrilled to show off. Their “selling points” were staying in the same room to labor and deliver, thanks to a fancy bed that broke down.
In my horrified state of shock, I asked them where their birthing tubs were, and didn’t all new facilities have those? Not only did they not answer my question, but they gave me a lot of really dirty looks during the rest of the tour, even though I managed to keep my mouth shut, which was a total monumental event.
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. After all, by that time I had already learned that there were zero midwives here, and none that would travel to deliver because they couldn’t get physician back up. I was terribly disappointed, as you can imagine. In my mind, I was thinking those fancy rooms would at least look more like a bedroom than hospital room, and in my wild fantasies, they’d look like this:
Or at the very least like this:
Do you see why I was shocked and disappointed? In the end, I did manage to have the last two under water in a free-standing birthing center that closed shortly after the youngest was born. Her reason for closing was that she was exhausted with too many patients and a real shortage of midwifery back-up. A total, total shame.
Moving on! My second post on this subject was just as enlightening.
1) I could live on popcorn. But not the microwaved stuff. That stuff smells like barf and makes me gag. I don’t like hot air popped popcorn, either. Most of the bagged stuff doesn’t pop well, either. The only (as in, singular) kind I really like is Orville Redenbacher. And then I microwave it. Perfect!
True. I’m pretty sure I eat more popcorn than I should, especially since I’m pretty sure it’s all GMO. *sigh* The cheaper stuff just doesn’t pop well, in any kind of popper, but my preferred method of popping is a microwave popper with a
lot little margarine.
2) I have a large family. My immediate family (me, hunny, and 4 kids) is small in comparison. I would have at least one more, but well, you know how that goes. My son wanted a brother for the longest time and I kept telling him to put his order in with Daddy. That ship has sailed, though, and it really wasn’t terribly hard to get rid of the baby stuff. Did I mention the youngest turned 8 yesterday?
True. Originally, I wanted 6 kids; Hunny wasn’t sold on having any. We settled on 4. When we moved into this house, with its 3 bedrooms, we had 3 kids. I was convinced that if I could wrangle a 4th, it would certainly be a boy, and there would be no issue with the bedrooms. 10 years later, I am still kicking myself. 3 girls in a single bedroom (even though it has a walk-in closet) does not make for a peaceful house. Just sayin’.
3) Not only were some of my kids born in the water, but we went with a lotus birth with the last one. While I could have encapsulated the placenta with a lotus birth, I figured we were doing enough with the herbs/salt. The biggest thing with this is getting the herbs right so that your pets don’t follow you around sniffing, thinking you are going to give them a meaty treat. Yes, I’m on the crunchy side on the granola scale.
I ran out of time on this one, honestly. Shortly before baby #4 was born, I learned about lotus birth. I did a lot of research and thought it was fascinating. I talked to my midwife about it, and she had never heard of it. She was game though, as long as she had time to work out the details.
Hunny was totally not on board. He has a really strong gag reflex, which makes it an amazing feat of courage that he never barfed during any of the deliveries. (To be fair, he was behind my head for the most part )
I am pretty sure that I could have gotten him to agree if I had found this months earlier. In my next life, this is on my ‘to do’ list.
4) I’ve fallen down a mountain. With a baby in a sling. On my back. I don’t think I need to say anything else besides it wasn’t intentional. And, we both lived to tell about it. Plus, I’m still embarrassed. You can ask her, but she’s 8 now, and she won’t remember. Thank goodness.
True. I’ll do a separate post because this one is already getting long, and I’m sure you have better things to do. But yes. I actually did fall down a mountain with a baby on my back in a sling. This is a before picture, because we’re still smiling.
So now you have it. Answers to questions with bonus pictures! Y’all are good!
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